Life Ministries

“Becoming a 4-H Christian” – part 2
Ephesians 4:29-5:2 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 and Romans 12:9-16

     We are looking at four things that are characteristic of - as well as God’s expectations of Christians: “Hopefulness”, which is a look forward; “Helpfulness” which is a look outward; “Happiness” which is a look inward; and Holiness” which is a look upward!

     We looked at “Hopefulness” which is a look forward…There are far too many people living in this world who have no hope! Paul says in 1^st Thessalonians 4:13 - “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who have died, or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope.” How horrible to live life thinking that this is all there is…that death is the end of life!  A Christian is an ever hopeful person.
     Next, I want to look at the “Helpfulness” of the Christian, which is an outward look.  As it concerns the helpfulness of a Christian, I invite you to look with me to the continuation of our scripture from yesterday; 1^st Thessalonians 5:12…“Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. ¹³Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. ¹⁴And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. ¹⁵Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” This is the “helpful” mark of the Christian.
     A couple of years ago, I spoke about “Observations from the chicken pen”… It had to do with the fact that chickens are always chasing one another around; they are always picking on and pecking at one another; and when one of them has a problem or a sore of some sort, rather than being helpful, they will pick and pick until the one with the problem practically bleeds to death! … But then, we’re not like chickens… are we?
    I realize that a lot of hurts go undetected, but the church is supposed to be a safe place where we can share our hurts with friends. Some of us do not know how to respond to hurts. Our scripture told us to: "mourn with those who mourn" or "weep with them that weep" and “rejoice with those who rejoice.”  Now these commands were written NOT to the elders or to church leaders, but to all Christians. God demands that we all are helpful to each other.
     So let me ask you this question: How good are you at comforting others? How good are you at weeping with those who weep? Some of you are probably skilled in these areas; too many of us are absolutely awful in this department, while many would say they are probably somewhere in between.
      Today I am going to try to be “helpful” by "helping" us all in the area of  being "helpful" rather than hurting. This is an important skill to learn, for you will use it in every relationship you have.
#1. The Most Important Piece of Advice: Shut Up and Listen.  Sometimes this is the most helpful thing we can do. I have to admit this is a hard one from me because I am usually quick to offer advise, when there are many times it would be better for me to be quiet and just listen.  In the Book of  Job,  Job’s friends were wonderful--until they opened their mouths and tried to fix things; they told stories of their experiences and thought they had everything figured out, just what was really wrong and what Job ought to do…and boy, were they wrong!
    In chapter 2 11-13 it says that Job’s friends “Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. ¹²When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. ¹³Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”… If they would have left it at that they would have been fine. We ought to remember that comforters are welcome; but counselors should come by invitation only. If you really want to help others during times of crisis, grief, tragedy, personal loss, or even depression, it helps to know what you are doing… Are you there to listen and help or to be a counselor?
#2. Do not minimize their problems in any way.  (Proverbs 25:20) reads: "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."  This simply means we have tried to minimize the problem; “Oh, it’s not all that bad…” “Come on now, don’t worry, be happy!”… I have a bad habit of doing this…I hate to see people sad or depressed, so I try to get them to smile or joke around in some way…While in my mind I may be trying to help, I am in reality minimizing their problem!  Jeremiah 6:14, says "They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. `Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace."
    Here is another example: a person says: “It is so depressing being out of work so long, I just don’t know what to do…this has really got me down.”  (Right Response): “I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. It is a bad situation, and I would probably have some of those same thoughts as well. I want to pray with you about this. Let’s talk about it so I will better know how to pray.”  (Here is a Dumb Response): “What are you so down about. Don’t you realize it could be much worse. Take my friend Joe for instance, he got laid off and now he has lung cancer!” (Here’s an even Dumber Response): Well, the Bible tells us to “rejoice in the Lord”…Set your eyes on Him” and don’t fret about being out of work…God will work it out!  (Dumbest Response): You are just not trusting God!  He must have brought these troubles upon you to punish you, discipline you, or teach you something”…Which leads to #3…
#3. Do not condemn or put them down in any way.   Express that it is okay for a Christian to feel afraid, worry, or be angry...and even doubt. These are natural, human, responses. All of these things beset Moses, King David, the Prophet Habbakkuk, and there will be times when we will feel these as well… Mature Christians understand that we can feel fear, worry, grief, and even anger, and still have faith and hope!  It is even worse to deny any of these feelings. Remember, according to our scripture, the things we go through are meant to train us to empathize and help others...
    Finally, even if people bring troubles upon themselves, remember, they are still hurting.  It never helps to say things like;  "You made your bed, now sleep in it" or “You reap what you sow!” These are not proper responses at the time! We should not add to the consequences of their experience with a guilt trip!  Jesus did not come to rub sin in, but to rub it out.  The Holy Spirit is called the "Comforter"…The “Helper”…Our “guide” … He is our “help” in time of need!  Those who practice “helpfulness” are winners as Christians.    
   Paul, the apostle, once said, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."  I think it’s time we live life to our full potential by realizing that we, who are in Christ, are no longer little kids… let’s stop acting like little kids, and start acting and doing what mature adults are supposed to do…let’s stop being selfish or smug and start being helpful!